Whether your knowledge of deep-throating is limited to Watergate or if it’s your go-to blow job technique in bed, deep-throating is still one of the OG taboo sex acts. Three women open up about their experiences deep-throating, what made them try it, their best advice for others, and the biggest misconceptions about it.

Tell me about the first time you deep-throated.
Woman A: I had been dating my then boyfriend for a few months, and we were starting to explore more sexually. One day when I was giving him a blow job, I put his penis as far down my throat as I could until I gagged a bit. He let out this deep moan and I realized how much he enjoyed it, so I kept doing it. I read articles about how to do it better, and I learned that I also really enjoyed deep-throating.

Woman B: The first time I deep-throated, I gagged, my eyes watered, and I was really confused as to why I was turned on by literally choking. I had been with many well-endowed guys before and had given plenty of blow jobs but the first time I went down on my now-husband, I had to deep throat because his penis was so large. Lo and behold I really liked it. It was something about him being in control and knowing how much I turned him on that made me want to do it again on my own.

Woman C: I don’t exactly remember the first time. It must have been with my high school boyfriend, we were each other’s firsts and experimented with just about everything together (constantly!).

What made you want to try it?

Woman A: It just kind of happened one day while I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I didn’t have a strong urge to try it, I just wanted to see how far I could put his penis in my mouth.

Woman B: Honestly, I knew how much it would turn on my man because he loves getting head so the thought of surprising him, deep-throating, and turning him on got me going.

Woman C: I think deep-throating has just always come naturally to me. It happened one day and I never looked back.

What do you think the appeal of deep-throating is? For guys? For women?

Woman A: For me, the appeal is pleasing my partner, but I also feel pretty accomplished when I can fit a giant penis all the way down my throat. It’s a deeply intimate act I enjoy sharing with my partners, and I take pride in giving a good blow job. Several partners of mine have mentioned that the best part of being deep-throated is that the person going down on them is so enthusiastic about it, that they’re willing to put their penis all the way down their throat. They also say that it feels good for them, and that they enjoy the tight sensation of going down their partner’s throat. Also, it’s messy and some guys really enjoy sloppy head.

Woman B: For guys I think it’s submission thing. There’s something sexy about that domination even if there’s no handcuffs or blindfolds. By deep throating I am literally letting you all in. For women, at least me personally, the appeal is about how much it turns on my man. I can literally feel him get harder the deeper his penis goes, which is extremely sexy — especially when he’s playing with me at the same time so there’s the double sensation.

Woman C: I think it’s the same for men and women: it’s about control. I’m sure a guy feels very powerful when he is being pleasured by a woman and he shoves himself all the way into the back of her throat. I feel the same way when I am giving a blow job, and I hear a gasp or moan or a “holy shit” escape from a man’s mouth.

Is it something guys ask for a lot?

Woman A: I have never had a partner specifically ask for deep-throating, but they have asked for blow jobs. If I’m really into it, I’ll take the whole thing into my mouth and down my throat when I’m giving them head. Once they realize I have this skill, they tend to ask for blow jobs a lot more.

Woman B: Not in my experience, no. It’s something I’ve typically taken initiative to do unless we are in a kind of kinky rougher sex type situation we’ve discussed beforehand.

Woman C: I don’t usually give them a chance to ask because I am already doing it. In certain situations, like when you are in a Dominant/submissive relationship, it may be asked for more often.

How important is deep-throating to giving a good blow job?
Woman A: It is not at all important. It is fun and a different sensation, but it isn’t vital to a great blow job. Having fun and enjoying the experience is what is most important.

Woman B: Honestly you don’t have to do it to give a good blow job or to please your partner, but in my experience it takes your skills to an entirely new level…especially if they aren’t expecting it.

Woman C: Some guys are just too big to go that deep but that doesn’t mean it will be a bad blow job. Just ask them to tell you what they like and do it. In the end, their penis is in your mouth — they are probably having a great time.

Do you have any advice for people who want to try it?

Woman A: Practice! If you have a penis to practice on, start giving more blow jobs. With each blow job, practice opening your throat just a bit more and letting a little more penis enter your throat. Don’t try to go all the way the first time or you’ll gag. When deep-throating, make sure your partner knows that you control the pace, not them. Relax and have fun!

Woman B: Just go for it and stop when you’re ready to stop. It’s not the most glamorous thing but it’s worth it, in my experience.

Woman C: Different positions work for different people. Personally, it is way easier for me if the guy is lying down and I am kneeling between his legs. But for one of my girlfriends, the only way she can do it is if she is lying on her back with her head off of the bed and the dude is standing. Just experiment with different positions and find what works for you. Practice makes perfect!

How do you stop yourself from gagging?

Woman A: Gagging is an inevitable part of deep-throating. You’re not going to stop it completely, so it’s best to just roll with it. Guys I’ve spoken to say that they enjoy the gagging. So when I do gag, I play it up. I grab his penis in my hand, pull it out of my mouth and gasp for air, then I usually spit on his shaft while looking him right in the eye, then I go back to sucking on his shaft. It feels very pornstar-like, but I enjoy it and so do my partners.

Woman B: Relax and don’t overthink. Remember, it doesn’t have to be a long time to be effective. You don’t have to leave it in there for an hour.

Woman C: I don’t. I just let it happen. I mean, something is hitting the back of your throat, it’s a natural reaction. All I worry about is not throwing up! Now that would be embarrassing.

Say a woman doesn’t want to deep-throat. Is there something she can do instead to create the same sensation?

Woman A: Yes, absolutely! Get his penis really wet with your spit, wrap your hand around the base of his penis and put it as far into your mouth as you’re comfortable. Then run your hand and mouth up and down the length of him while making subtle gagging noises. The gagging noise will contract your throat and mouth to create a sucking/throbbing sensation on his shaft while also simulating the gagging that comes with deep-throating.

Woman B: Maybe sticking his balls in your mouth and playing with them at the same time. I don’t know that it’s the same thing, but it’s something other than just a regular blow job.

Woman C: Hmm … I can’t think of anything that would give the same sensation.

What are the biggest misconceptions about deep-throating, in your opinion?
Woman A: That the partner performing the act doesn’t enjoy it, that they are only doing it out of a sense of obligation. I love giving head and I especially love deep-throating. I get extremely turned on when I please my partner with my mouth. And it puts me in the perfect position to play with my clit or use a vibrator while I go down on him. I get him off while I get myself off…it is a win-win!

Woman B: Maybe that it’s degrading. I’ve heard my friends say things like that before and I always try to tell them how much it turns me on at the same time, and that it’s not a degrading thing unless you are viewing it that way. For me, it’s a pleasure thing and we happen to both get off on it.

Woman C: That it is degrading to women. As long as you are having sex with a person that makes you feel safe, no sexual act, deep-throating or otherwise, should make you feel degraded, embarrassed, bad about yourself, or like you are not in control.